Mom ‘Upset’ After Learning Her Child Was Allowed to Go to Park Unsupervised

A mother is “upset” after her nine-year-old daughter was allowed to go to the park unsupervised — but wonders if she’s overreacting.

In a Mumsnet post, titled “9-year-olds out on their own,” the mother explained that her daughter recently went to a friend’s house for a playdate. She said that she was told ahead of time that the kids would be going to a local park and that the other child’s dad would be supervising.

However, when her daughter returned home from the playdate, the mom was told her child and friend had gone to the local park with several other kids from their class, without any parents accompanying them.

The OP (original poster) said that while the park “isn’t far from the friend’s house, “my [daughter] hasn’t had any experience […] going out like that before.” 

“I know she will have to at some point — but surely that should be my decision to make?” she said.

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“I’m not sure if I’m more upset that they were allowed to go alone or the fact I was told the dad would be taking them and then [they] went alone,” the mom added.

Several commenters assured the woman that her feelings on the situation are completely valid and that she should have been alerted to the change in plans ahead of time.

“Yes — [it should have been] your decision. I would be angry that another parent made that call for you, especially after being told an adult would take them,” one person said.

Others said that while they agree that the OP should have been told, they also think she should perhaps start giving her daughter some more independence.

“I wouldn’t be happy I was told the dad was taking them, then didn’t go, BUT I do think nine is old enough to go to the park with a few friends and no adults,” one person said.

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The same person went on to share some practical advice for moving forward, saying, “Definitely talk to [your daughter] about what to do in various situations. Would she have been able to find her way back to her friend’s house alone if she’d been left behind? Does she have a phone? What would she/they have done if someone had gotten hurt? If older kids were intimidating them? Etc. etc.”

Other commenters, however, said they considered the OP’s situation a “non-issue” and also said they think that modern parenting standards are robbing kids of important developmental skills.

“This is a non-issue OP,” one person said. “This was utterly normal in my (British) childhood and pretty much every childhood throughout history. It is still normal in many European countries, and other countries in the world. We went much further afield without adults as children.”